Holiday Etiquette: Regifting is tacky

by Lyudmila Bloch, Etiquette Expert NYC


How to be a gracious guest at a Holiday Party: essential tips for a well-mannered adult

1. Don't bring an "uninvited guest" to a holiday party. Clear this issue with your hostess, prior to your arrival. Leave your children and pets at home.

2. Don't come empty-handed. Try to bring a bottle of wine, a new music CD, a bouquet of flowers, or maybe a dessert.

3. DO NOT REPACKAGE YOUR LAST YEAR'S GIFTS THAT WERE STORED IN YOUR CLOSET FOR 12 MONTHS! NOTHING IS MORE INSULTING AND UNENJOYABLE THAN "UNWANTED, REPACKAGED, USELESS GIFTS." If you did not find any use for a gift received last year, -- aging fruitcakes used to be the running joke --please donate it to a charity before it deteriorates! The silent message you are conveying by "regifting" that your friend, or a family member is not worthy of a new gift. "Regifting" is an awful and offensive gesture that must be avoided at ALL TIMES, RECESSIONS INCLUDED!

4. If arriving late, do not go into a detailed explanation as to why you were late and what happened to you on your way to the party. Unless your story is exceptional, no one is really interested, and the spiel drains precious time and energy that could be more rewardingly spent by both you and your host. Introduce yourself to all guests and go with the flow.

5. Turn off your cell phone, or enable your "vibrate" function and then don't' answer your phone while interacting with other guests. Don't be a "rude dude" in the home if someone who is making an effort to extend hospitality.

6. Don't "monopolize" a new guest because he/she can potentially be a valuable business contact for you. Instead, try to have an engaging conversation with that guest, and then politely offer your business card at the end of the evening.

7. Don't get involved in discussing recent political events or religious news (for example, the Manhattan Declaration), or health-care reform. Focus your attention on good food, wine, entertainment, and holiday plans.



8. Don't get drunk - an intoxicated guest is a nuisance for all.

9. If you have any serious food allergies, alert your hostess in advance to avoid any potential medical emergencies and 911 calls.

10. Don't ask for leftovers unless you are visiting your grandmother or aunt.

11. Don't eat from your spouse's plate - wait until a second serving is offered to all. If you are still hungry, ask for an extra dessert at the end of the food service.

12. If by mistake someone else is drinking from your glass, don't make a big fuss about it and don't embarrass the person who has committed this faux pas. Just order a fresh drink by contacting a waiter and say, "May I please have another glass of the same wine?" When your glass of fresh wine is delivered, say thank you and continue your conversation without going into any details.

13. Write a handwritten card/or thank-you note to your host or your hostess within 24-48 hours of the party.