Another Fine Contestant For Celebrity Jackass

This morning, while drinking some tea and making a "to do" list, I
heard an advertisment for a Spike Lee documentary about the oil
spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Having seen several "Spike Lee Joints,"
I didn't have much hope that he could add anything to what we
already know about what happened. Spike has trouble cobbling
together anything that makes much sense and my first thought was
that he wouldn't be the guy I would pick to make sense of the whole
enchilada.

But then came the anouncement that Brad Pitt, the mellow pothead,
part time architect, doctrinaire liberal and poster boy for scraggly
beards, is featured in the docudrama, rethinking his opposition to
the death penalty. One upping Commander Obama (who is still
searching for some ass to kick), Pitt wants the death penalty
invoked for environmental polluters.

Juging strictly on the number of bad movies he's starred in, maybe
he should be first on the platform.

I know he's invested some of his own money to help rebuild in New
Orleans and that's all well and good, but celebrities never do
anything strictly for charity. There's always a hook and Brad has
been "featured" several times on television, doing his charitable
work, usually about the same time he has a movie hitting the
theatres. Nothing pays like charity, as they say in Hollywood.

It's funny that Pitt would rethink his philosophical position on the
death penalty for polluters, when there are so many more richly
deserving schmucks to be fried.

But let's apply his new standard to his own lifestyle. He and his
other half own six or seven homes, all over the world. They travel
by private jet, everywhere they go, hiring and firing staff, like
ancient kings and queens. In other words, they leave a huge "carbon
footprint," to quote another idiot, Fat Al Gore. So when you add it
all up, he's going to have to hang himself, or actually marry
Angelina. I believe the Greeks called that being caught between
Scylla and Charybdis, or, for us commoners, it's known as being
between a rock and a hard place.

While I'm sure Spike was enthralled with Brad's vision, one idiot
celebrity to another, I'm not and I'm sure you're not. The fact is
that the whole oil spill was vastly overblown by Obama and the
media, so they could pass the heinous Cap and Trade Bill, which
would ensure that this country ends up on the scrap heap of history.
It's already cost tens of thousands of jobs that are not coming back
and maybe Brad and Spike can cover that expense. (Don't count on it
...they have to be in Cannes soon, and you have to rent your yacht
early, along with your helicopter and 100 bodyguards.)

Most folks know it's virtually impossible to take pharmaceutical
grade fish oil and still be the village idiot. As Bill Murray would
say..."I got that goin' for me." There certainly is a huge heap of
brain damage out there and there is a limited supply of the
treatment.

Since celebrities and other liberals take a long time to assimilate
what is actually good for them, you have a chance to step to the
front of the line and keep yourself in tip-top shape... and have
many a laugh, at their expense.

Brad Pitt's gravestone will read: "He was as dumb as he was
handsome."