The Easiest Way In Order To Get A Brand New iPhone And Piss Off Your Date In One Easy Step

That is correct, anyone can aquire a brand new iphone as well as make your sweetheart loathe you in one easy step. Here's how you do it...

There is a saying in which change is an inescapable part of living (and also In N Out Burger) so the simplest way we can recognize change would be to adapt to it.

Thus it’s with a wistful heart that I actually bid farewell to my iPhone.

My iPhone 2G!!

Indeed, it’s true. After nearly 3 years it at long last kicked the bucket on me following the 12th drop. Saturday night inside the parking area at Carlees Bar in Borrego Springs, CA (brief plug so I can get that beer comped which I neglected to pay for). I inadvertendly drop kicked it into the Lexus sport utility vehicle next to me (my apologies) and then it landed on the 30-year old asphalt. You understand, the type of asphalt Godzilla might use to file his nails.

Ouch.

No problem I figured. This phone has been indestructable. I’ve dropped it countless times prior to that…even down a flight of stairs…

But on this occasion I was not so lucky.

I picked up my phone, went in the restaurant, ordered that (free?) beer and started sending text messages and Twittering just like I usually do (plus I didn’t see any cute ladies to deflect my typically small attention span).

All was well then it happened: My iPhone began acting funky…screen going blank and after that turning back on and dropping signal.

Crap.

You know, the type of ‘oh no’ you mutter in that quiet, halted tone essentially to yourself whenever you know you’ve truly blown it. The ‘cold shot up your back feeling.

“C’mon….no. Crap. Turn back on. No no no no…..”

And then the phone came back on.

Ok…whew…that was close! It then made a strange buzzing noise, and after that began to heat up…quickly.

It then shut off.

It was after that when I realized I had finally broke my iphone. During my hurry while in the damn parking lot to primp and preen before going in to the bar (which for any guy involves cleaning his nose area of foreign ‘objects’ and also placing breath mints in his pocket) I dropped my phone into permanent oblivion.

An unfortunate moment to be certain. Nevertheless it was Saturday night and I wasn’t going to let this misfortune ruin my evening. And also I had the perfect justification to buy the new iPhone 4!

See? Excellent! It all works out in the long run.

Then it struck me…

I don’t have a phone.

I cannot make a phone call.

I can’t send a text.

I can’t check my email.

I cannot update my Twitter.

I can’t post on Facebook.

Disaster.

What do I do NOW???

I needed to get myself together and quickly. I had a ‘date’ of sorts so I had to overlook this terrible turn of events and get my mind back in the game. Realizing that (almost all?) women loathe us guys that really like our devices I needed to get my ‘I don’t need a phone because I’m right here with you baby’ game face on and fast.

Yeah right.

I survived about thirty-five minutes with her. The drops of sweat began to collect on my brow and my palms started to twitch. “Where’s the phone man?” my hands were asking me. The conversation was spinning in my brain…”It’s in the car. We don’t need the iphone right now.”

“B . S .!!” I could hear my hands holler at me.

“Is there a problem?”

My date. I looked up. Perplexed. “Was she talking to me?”, I asked myself.

‘You look pale Ken,’ she stated flatly. It’s almost as though she knew the words that were going to spill out from my mouth after that.

Frickin’ women are so damn intuitive.

I attempted to fake it…

“I’m a little bummed. I dropped and broke my iPhone”, I explained in a measured tone. “I needed to make an important call and I’m slightly mad at myself. But…you know, I’ll just have to order a brand new phone after I go back home. It was time for a new one anyways.”

“Ok! I did it!” I told myself. I made it seem like it’s not a big deal and now we can have a enjoyable evening with each other.

And then she baited me. And that was it.

“Well good!! You’re talking on that phone constantly, sometimes I question if you remember that I’m actually here…you and that ‘Social dating’ fantasy-land stuff!” she barked.

I couldn’t contain myself.

“Facebook is not for dating!”, I exclaimed. “And neither is Twitter. And they will become the new email…you know…how people will communicate…it’s the way everyone will hook up to one another…it’s social media…it’s…it’s…damn! I need my phone…let me try my cell phone one more time…I really need to check my Gmail! Perhaps it’ll work this time!!!!”

My speech quivered in equal parts frustration and indignation. I mean, MY phone was busted! That ought to trump any kind of plans until this disaster is rectified.

Right?

“Freak”, she muttered to me while shaking her head. She almost looked like she felt sorry for my situation and planned to hug me…but that was my man-ego thinking.

“Where are you going?”, I asked. I understood damn well exactly where she was heading. Someplace where I, Twitter and Facebook wasn’t.

“Good luck with that search honey”, I proclaimed to myself while at the same time knowing that I had no iPhone, and no date.

So off I went back to Carlees to get a beer and pay Tony the bartender for that one I don’t imagine I’m comped on.

I’m sure I would know someone there with at least a Blackberry I could borrow.

Kenneth Holland is a Blogger as well as self-proclaimed 'Internet Chieftain' who helps businesses and individuals build a powerful web brand and can teach you how to set up a blog.