Enlisted below are some pointers you must take into consideration if you are intending to converse to your teen about appropriate decision making and refrain from premarital sex.
1. Be true and transparent
Make sure that you are free from pretentions and uncertainty if you are trying to relay a message to your teen. Your opinions must possess realistic basis for the child to really grasp what you are trying to imply.
2. Look at things as if you were a teen
The most important here is to listen to their stories and opinions. As you analyze, put yourself on their shoes, and explain your thoughts and reasons based on this. Let them feel that you are a person that they can tell everything and at the same time capable of giving sound advice.
3. Introduce the topic deliberately
Don't make them ignorant and instead discuss sexuality in steps according to their mental capabilities. Before you know it, they have acquired various information and details about this in their environment so you must inform them with the proper wisdom when they have inquiries, so they will not be misguided by some unwanted facts they acquire from outside.
4. Keep in mind the disparity of boys and girls
Your advice should be in case to case basis depending on gender, because there's a difference in them, in terms of consequences and mindset. Pregnancy statistics will not be the interest of males so you can remind them about responsible parenthood, family support and future partners.
5. Make sure that your child clearly identifies your position and position on such things.
You can clearly define your stand by conforming examples and credible opinions. If you are trying to imply your teen that they should avoid premarital sex to ensure their future, have a healthy sex life and avoid further consequences, these messages then will convey on them if you are able to show that you really care about them.
Tips on Parenting
• Be cautious and considerate. Parenting is not about controlling one's life but rather communicating, guiding and giving advice to show that you love and you have care for your teen.
• Be aware about the actions of your child because they tend to be curious on things and they want to explore on them.
• You child must be hearing opinions from others so you must ensure that your opinions and pieces of advice are precise and at the same time loving.
• Make sure that your values are consistent if you are about to converse with your teens about sensitive issues like character development, sexuality, self control and relationships.
• Inform your teen as early as possible on your limitations and boundaries on relationships and sexual expressions.
Occupation: Co-Founder and International Director - Teen-Aid,
LeAnna Benn is co-founder of Teen-Aid, Inc. and National Director since 1981. Teen-Aid is considered one of the best, most comprehensive abstinence programs in the nation. LeAnna has many years experience as a consultant to parents and educators in implementing abstinence education. She has trained hundreds of public school teachers and counselors on how to use the Teen-Aid program.
The mother of six children, she was mother of the year in her home town of Spokane, WA. She has a BA in Social Sciences and Education from Whitworth College, and for two years she taught abstinence education to sex offenders who were incarcerated in the local juvenile jail. LeAnna has worked with pastors in churches and counseled with prostitutes on the street.
Mrs. Benn was a founder of National Association of Abstinence Educators, and was consultant on character education projects and several sex education books and programs including a sexuality program written for Concerned Women of America.
LeAnna directed a 5 year research project under a federal HHS grant studying the effectiveness of the Teen-Aid program in reducing sexual activity. She was a grant reader during the Bush administrations and a consultant for Title XX during the Reagan administrations.
Three time editor of the junior high family life program, Me, My World, My Future, LeAnna also directed the changes for Sexuality, Commitment and Family, a Teen-Aid high school program. She co edited the Parent Workshop with social worker, Nancy Piehl. HIV: You Can Live Without It, a 5th -12th grade AIDS education curricula which balance character and compassion with scientific information was written jointly with Alfred J. Derby, MD.
A speaker at many national and state level conventions, Mrs. Benn is always well received. She was a speaker at the 1995 United Nations Conference on the Family. LeAnna has appeared on The 700 Club and makes frequent comments on Family News in Focus and many local talk shows nationally. She has debated Planned Parenthood and National Abortion Rights Action League representatives numerous times. You will find her engaging and well informed.
LeAnna Benn My Teen
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