Positive kids. What can we learn?

Positive kids. What can we learn?
Have you ever noticed how children are more positive than most adults you know? The most common explanation as to why this is, is that children have less responsibilities and stress in their lives. It often looks like children's lives are pretty much care free. But when you really observe them closely children's lives are anything but carefree.

There are many stressful situations such as going to school for the first time, being afraid of the dark, have to share with others and wondering if they will ever get that toy back. They may seem like small things to adults now, but when we were kids ourselves, we certainly didn't think so! So why do kids seem to be less troubled by stress than adults?

Kids are more positive than adults for two reasons:

First, they have not developed as many preferences as adults have. Kids simply haven't had the life experience needed to come to all of their preferences. Adults generally know exactly what they want and we expect to get it. When things go different than we would have liked, we get cranky.

Second, kids -especially young kids- have trouble making clear distinctions between past, present and future. They generally do not worry as much about bad things that have happened or bad things that may (or may not) happen in the future. Of course there are exceptions but usually children live in the now.

So what can we learn from positive kids? Most of all we can learn to just lighten up and seize the day. If the things you want are making you feel miserable, maybe you shouldn't want them so much. Or if you truly do want them, you can be excited about the prospects and possibilities instead of worried that it is not going to come.

Kids naturally value that being positive NOW is extremely important. Because if you are not happy now, then when? There is really no logical reason to worry about the past when you know the moment has passed and you will never be able to change it. And fretting about what may happen in the future does not change it either. You can certainly take your responsibility by making plans, but it just doesn't make any sense to be miserable now for something that may or may not happen in another moment.

Generally we spend a lot more time worrying about the future than is strictly necessary to come up with a responsible plan. Let's not forget that this moment is important also. Kids grow up fast and they might not always be the easy going delightful little creatures that you have come to love.

So now that we have learned so much from our kids, what will we teach them about responsibility? We can teach them to spend the majority of their attention on worrisome things that cause stress and may never happen, or we can allow them to enjoy every moment and focus mostly on the possibilities that their life has to offer.

Please share with us what you think about this article and what you have learned from watching your children.