People Skills – your most important relationship

Your People Skills ' your most important relationship


People are motivated for their reasons, not yours. Satisfy the deepest needs of people around you. The deepest need that each person has is for self-esteem, a sense of being important, and valuable. Everything that you do in your interactions with other people affects their self-esteem in some way. Continually look for ways to make people feel more valuable and important.

Listen carefully, ask questions to show that you are genuinely interested and you'll be amazed at the spin-offs from becoming a good question asker and a good listener. People appreciate, respect and value others who are great listeners.

Helping Yourself by Helping Others

One of the golden rules of the therapy profession is that everyone needs at least one person with whom they can openly and unashamedly discuss every little detail ' happenings, desires, fears ' of their life, whether it is from the past, present, or future. There are other psychological needs ' to be accepted unconditionally, appreciated, recognized, respected, desired, valued, approved of, or complimented ' that affect the way we communicate with each other.

You grow when you help others. 'It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself,' said Ralph Waldo Emerson.

In order to help others to grow, you need to be a good example for them. You must stretch yourself. To teach and inspire others, you must learn a lot and be inspired yourself. You must learn how to motivate yourself and others.

Get Interested in People and Show Your Appreciation

'You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you,' advised Dale Carnegie.

Continually express appreciation. Say 'thank you' on every occasion. A simple way to make another person feel good about himself or herself is your continuous expressions of appreciation for everything that person does for you, large or small. 'Thank your spouse for everything that he or she does for you. Thank your children for their cooperation and support in everything that they do around the house. Thank your friends for the smallest of kindnesses. The more you thank other people for doing things for you, the more things those other people will want to do,' advises Brian Tracy.

Resolve to focus your energy on helping others feel valued and appreciated. Show your appreciation with a thank-you, or a smile. Call up someone you haven't spoken to in a while, just to catch up on how they are. If you have children, give one child at a time your full attention for an evening. Write a note of appreciation to someone who is important to you.

'Think of the way you'd like to be remembered by those around you, and give of yourself accordingly throughout the year. Practice a random act of kindness every day. These little moments, over time, have a huge impact. The added benefit for you is that you'll be in a more positive frame of mind overall,' advises Pauline Wallin.