Always be a step ahead of your opponent is a common expression that applies to parenting kids!
As parents our main function is to raise and educate our kids so they can be the best they can be when they eventually fly the nest (even though that age seems to be getting older by the year!) and head out into that big world on their own.
Every family has its own problems to deal with. Every child presents challenges to their parents throughout their development. Challenges that sometimes have you pulling your hair out and wondering how it all went so wrong.
So what do we do when these challenges arise? Yes that’s right – we frantically research parenting solutions and ask our friends and family members what parenting solutions and techniques they use. The sad thing is that you never quite know which technique or which parenting solution is right not only for your child but also for the situation at hand.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could get your hands on a list of easy to use and effective parenting solutions to the most common problems faced by parents attempting to raise their children?
Well now you can.
Dr Jonathan Bispham and Deborah Harper have put together an easy to read and easy to use e-book that provides you with the parenting solutions for your family. This e-book outlines a number of key areas to ensure you can easily choose the right parenting solution for your individual child. Let’s face it, no two children are the same, so how can we expect there to be only one kind of parenting solution?
Jonathan and Deborah not only identify common problems and common parenting solutions that you can implement straight away, they also teach you how to work out how your child thinks and processes so you are already a step ahead of your child. Now doesn’t that sound good?
Using a variety of techniques based on 35 years of research, Jonathan and Deborah teach parents a number of key strategies that enables them to take their current parenting skills to a whole new level of ‘flexible’ parenting skills that produce results!
In this incredible book you will find out which parenting techniques and systems will work best for your child rather than just trying random parenting solutions that sometimes just make the situation worse.
This is what you will learn:
1. Discover the thinking system your child uses:
The first and most important step is to discover your child’s ‘thinking’ system. These thinking systems or ‘values’ are based on the work of Dr Clare Graves, a psychology professor in New York, originating from the mid-twentieth century.
Dr Clare Graves often said, “some people are born with brains ‘out of their time’." As parents we can relate to that can’t we? Haven’t you ever looked at your child and thought, ‘wow you’ve either been here before or you are simply older than your years?’ I know we certainly have. This is because each of us has a level of developmental thinking or ‘values’ that enable us to exist within our environment.
We are either trying to make our world fit to ourselves or we are trying to make ourselves fit in with our world. Kids do this all the time. If a teenager gets involved with gangs, he must develop his thinking to survive the challenges inherent in gang behaviour. In order to survive he has to focus on himself and will show aggression and exert his power whenever he can to survive.
In contrast, imagine a kid living in a hippie commune where all resources are shared. This child doesn’t need an aggressive thinking system in order to survive. On the contrary his thinking will be focused on others and family harmony.
As each child grows and develops, they develop their thinking systems to adapt to their environment. A child that is bullied at school will have to develop their ‘survival’ instincts very quickly, while as a child that is in a safe and supportive friendship group at school will develop a thinking system geared towards the harmonious group mentality and avoiding conflict. This is why it is crucial that your parenting skills are flexible and evolve in line with your child’s development.
By understanding the child’s ‘thinking system’ or value level, you can then adapt your style of parenting and use parenting solutions that he or she will respond the best to.
2. Discover how your child filters information
Once you have identified the thinking systems predominately used by your child, the next step is to work out how your child filters information.
Some kids are highly visual. Think of visual as the pictures we see in our head. Some kids are highly auditory. Think of auditory as the sounds we hear. And some kids are highly kinesthetic. Think of kinesthetic as the feelings we feel.
If your child is highly visual, then you need to ‘show them’ what you mean or how to behave. This child would do well to have a wall chart of a list of jobs and rules to read. A child who is auditory needs to hear the instructions and have things explained.
Once you know how to identify how your child processes, you can improve your communication with them so they really ‘get’ what you mean.
3. Discover the parenting solutions needed by your child
The next stage is to define the parenting solutions and skills that support your child’s thinking systems, processing capacity and communication strategies.
We teach parents how to discover all these patterns and how to easily identify the type of parenting skills and techniques you need in order to manage your child’s behaviour and development.
The challenge with finding out how to improve your parenting skills lies in being able to identify all the different parenting systems out there and then trying to work out which one suits your child.
Some children need an authoritarian style of parenting solutions with guidelines and firm directions. While other kids need a much more liberal approach where the boundaries are a lot more flexible in nature. Some kids do better in a collaborative style of parenting as they can self regulate quite well.
In order to raise our children to be the best they can, we require an extensive range of parenting solutions and skills. Jonathan and Deborah share summaries of the leading parenting books available, which are full of parenting solutions. They will show you which ones suit which type of child so you can choose wisely and always be one step ahead!
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