My Morning Shaving Ritual

I am awakened by an explosion, I open my eyes to total darkness
all of my spidey senses on high alert. All is silent and the
darkness is thick. The sound of rumbling clouds in the sky up
above, followed by some off in the distance, when suddenly the
clouds collide emitting a colossal explosion of thunder that
shatters through the night sky. shaking the building threatening
to shatter glass. The thunder ignites a spark of lightning within
seconds, mocking a camera flash, it lights up the room.


The time is early 5:33 to be exact. the thundering sound has
woken me up early. As i orient myself i am surprised by the lack
of any grogginess. As i stand up still pondering on the fact that
i am totally alert and fully conscious almost eager to start my
day. The slightest hint of wanting to go back to bed has
disappeared as i pull back the curtain to examine the activity
in the night sky. I ask myself is it the beginning of tornado
season or are the clouds challenging each other, similar to the
horn clashing that occurs between mountain rams.


It is now time to begin my morning mild chaos that awaits me
before i start the day. I manage my way to the kitchen
thinking of the wonderful coffee brewing soon to be running
thru my veins. As i fill my coffee cup with a little more than
usual, i think to myself this should be enough to get me through
the morning rough. I make my way back to the bathroom, i
unconsciously dodge the corner of the bedroom door frame, the
one that eagerly awaits my little toe each morning.


Outside the rain plays its rhythmic sound on what seems like
hundreds of tiny drums. After cleaning off the bathroom counter.
i lazily gaze at my reflection that appears in the mirror before
me. A soft voice in my head whispers lets get rid of those
whiskers that slowly appeared during the long hours of last
nights sleep. For a moment i wonder what i would look like with
a full beard and just as fast as my heart skips a beat the thought
is gone. I examine my facial hair and collect my thoughts.
Its now time for my shower and then my shave.


After the shower i instinctively slide my finger across the
steamed up mirror, a victim of shower fog. I remember a friend
telling me of a remedy for steamed mirrors, he suggest that i spray
shaving cream on to a clean cloth and rub the shaving cream
into the mirror then wipe it off. I think to myself I'll try it.
I apply my friends questionable information, there is no
particular pattern to my method and Before me my mirrored reflection
begins to come together like a jigsaw puzzle.


The steam drifts slowly away and the next few minutes i spend
admiring the cleanliness of my mirror. Try as i might i
can not help but to be proud of myself. I leaned in to get a
better look at myself. The thought of his remedy working, left
me with a comforting eagerness for tomorrow mornings results.


As i rinse my mouth and my tooth brush before putting it away
i find myself admiring the cleanliness of the mirror once again.
Now on to my shave. I recall my younger days when i didn't have
to shave and thinking it'll be years before i do. How nice it was
to have an ice smooth face back then. The alarm clock next to my
bed with large blue numbers tells me i have plenty of time to turn
this scruffy face into something new.


In the distance the sound of soft rain hitting the ground mixes
with a song coming from my clock radio, as i apply pre-shave oil
to my shaggy face i can still feel the warmth of my skin. I think
to myself, the frogs will surely be enjoying this rainy day
unfortunately the same can't be said for those poor birds in the
wet trees.


I can feel the pre-shave oil starting to work. I love this stuff!
it works it really does. it softens up my skin, softens up my dry
rough facial hairs so my razor slices neatly thru them as if they
were tiny liquorice candy sticks. Its a wonderful thing when my
hair falls away with buttery ease as the razor glides across my
face and i love the smell of this stuff. Now for a dab of one of
my many favorite shaving creams, Yes i said many. Women collect
shoes and purses and i collect shaving oils, creams and razors.



Who would of known how much more enjoyable my shaves would become
the day i stopped fighting the warm feeling of a new purchase and
indulged myself by adding a few good razors to the mix. Long gone
are my days of fighting with stubborn hair. I wonder if James Bond
had more than one razor for shaving, in his shaving kit?


As i apply a fresh mint shaving cream enriched with jojoba and
vitamin E. My skin savors the tingling sensation emitted by this
stuff. Now to choose a razor for shaving. I take a moment and ponder
on the choices before me. what am i in the mood for lets see? do i
use my "Gillette Blue Tip" or will it be my "Super Shave razor"
or how about my trusty "Merkur" and lets not forget my "Classic
Gold Weishi" Ahh, then theres my slick "Erbe" Made in
Solingen Germany.



Next comes maneuvering the razor along my prickly hairs with
the precession of a skilled barber. I glide my razor hard enough to
shave a peach but light enough to shave a balloon. Sliding along the
jaw line with the grain helps me avoid any shaving pains. In just
minutes the transformation is complete. The result, is a polished
fresh look with no pricklies left and Feeling alive and refreshed.
once again my skin is at its best. I Splash on some running water
rinse my skin clean before a grab the towel. Its now time for
some lotion to finish my fresh shave and leave the skin smooth.
in just minutes my stubbles gone and now Im ready to face the day.

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