Let me begin with an adage - "Maturity has nothing to do with age; it is all about experience and exposure". How does this impact our children and the way we bring them up? We all must be aware of the term "Grown-up Kid". Why do we use this term for some people - because we perceive that the maturity of the person does not go with their age. So if we can have grown-up kids aged 20 or 30 why can't we have matured kids aged 6 or 10 or even younger.
Modern science says that a child has maximum grasping ability until the age of 6 - they can grasp the right and wrong, the good and bad, different languages, different skills … you name it and it is possible. So if you instil & reinforce the right type of behaviours at early age there is no reason why your kid won't be a "Matured Kid" from very early age.
We all love our children - but the daily travails of life make it difficult to do justice to them. Our kids have no prior experience of how they should be treated - so we form a very big part of their life experience for them. The techniques below will help you to achieve your target to instil the right type of behavioural traits in your child.
Firm yet Fair: To develop trust in your child you need to develop a Firm yet Fair image. Let your "No" be a "No" and at the same time be consistent in your behaviour. Also never break promises and if you do need to break them - explain the reasons clearly and involve your child in finding alternatives.
Listen: Listen to your child and understand their motivation. Do not cut your child off and deny them the right to express themselves. It is very easy to say "No" to an unreasonable demand - but it takes more effort to make your child understand why the demand is unreasonable.
Do not burn out your child: Get your child to realise the importance of goals early on, but do not set them up to fail. It is great to stretch your child a bit. However, do not put too much pressure on your child - such that they burn out in the process. Ensure goals set are within reach and your child constantly gets your guidance in achieving them.
Coach instead of direct all time: When guiding your child to achieve new skill sets, learn how to draw a line between directing and coaching. Once you feel that your child has developed a specific skill and is confident, step back and let them go ahead with the task on their own. Don't constantly interfere in their work and give them the freedom to approach and carry out the task on their own. Only by giving trust can you get more trust.
Have Adult to Adult conversation: When your child's behaviour is not as per your expectations, rather than losing your temper and shouting at them try and have a logical conversation. Key steps to having a logical conversation are:
• Keep your EGO at bay
• Focus on action and criticise the action rather than the person
• Ask questions rather than giving conclusions
• Get understanding and acceptance on problem
• Conclude with an action plan
Prioritisation of your child's development is the first step towards successful parenting. For more tips on parenting refer to my free e-book "New Parenting Style" on http://www.newparentingstyle.com/index.html.
About the author:
The author is a successful marketing executive and a mother of two boys. She has had a rough ride in the past two years and has successfully saved her family from the brink of disaster by working on her parenting techniques. You can access her free report "New Parenting Style" or buy her book "Solving Teenage Problems" on http://www.teenageproblems.newparentingstyle.com or check your "Parent Stress Intensity Quotient" for free on http://www.stressmanagement.newparentingstyle.com.
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