Beards and beauties, beauties and beards - sometimes it's so hard to know which way to turn, we just plough straight through the middle and hope for the best.
Let's start with beauties past and present. Amid news that 51-year-old Madonna has been chatting with doctors about whether or not it's wise for her to try for another baby - this time with current boyfriend Jesus Luz, who's no croaker himself at 22 - we turn to Lindsay Lohan. Is she past or present, we hear you ask - well, sometimes it's hard to tell, but the sparkly hooded minidress she wore to a Golden Globes afterparty is more futuristic than anything.
Meanwhile in the world of the poll, the usual suspects were conspicuous by their absence in the upper echelons of the latest Most Desirable Woman survey by famously partisan blokey website Askmen.com. Mind you, it's tricky to argue with the website's sample size: eight million fellas responded, apparently. That's the population of London!
Anyway, no doubt you want to know who came top. It was… Emmanuelle Chriqui! Y'know, Emmanu… no, you haven't a clue who she is, have you? OK, settle down: she's one of the stars of Entourage, the entertaining US dramedy not-at-all based on the early fame years of Mark Wahlberg, oh nonono. Got her? No? Click on the link, silly…
In second place was US supermodel Marisa Miller (can't place her? She's a Victoria's Secret model, apparently) and - ta-daah! - in position three is an actress you might actually have heard of: the UK's own Kate Beckinsale. Now, if only we could remember the last time we saw her in a film…
Going back to the Askmen.com survey, anti-feminist Brooke Burke's response to her place in the list is quite remarkable for 2010 (or is it?!) ‘Most days, I'd rather hear ‘sexy' than ‘smart, grounded and creative.' Don't worry Brooke, no one's asking you to run in front of a moving race horse or burn your designer bra. I guess it's no surprise that Germaine Greer didn't make the list this year.
If my post-feminist ramblings offend any readers out there (male or female) I should point out that the opinions expressed on this blog are not shared by Orange (although I suspect that they actually are).
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